There’s a time for moderation and good sense, and there’s a time for extravagance and balls-to-the-wall-ness. This video shows us what happens when the latter takes over and normal men go for glory. In this case, it’s a good old-fashioned Tug-O-War between a bunch of big, bad trucks in the Lone Star State.

Starting off are a pair of Power Strokes on monster-sized paddle tires, one done up in bright green and the other in a camo-pattern wrap. The camo truck gets going first, but the wheels spin helplessly as the green truck sits perfectly still, seemingly in a zen-like state. Black fumes erupt as the green truck puts down the hammer and drags the camo truck backwards. “All I do is bring the best truck I got,” says the driver after his victory.

So how does this driver fare against a military vehicle painted up like a John Deer tractor? Pretty badly, actually. In a situation almost like David versus Goliath, this comparatively small pickup teaches its larger foe a lesson in torque and the superiority of military hardware as it wins best two out of three. All that whistling from the Super Duty might as well be screaming, as it gets hauled in reverse by its adversary time and again.

Things ramp up a notch afterwards, as two deuce and a halves, one loaded up with tires and the other unloaded, go head to head. We’re not sure why the weight disparity was given the okay, but things go as you might have predicted: the heavier, loaded up truck is the winner, as the other truck wheel hops its way backwards, its tires sounding like barking seals. The crowd jumps into the unloaded truck to fix the issue, and cheers its way to victory as the truck pulls ahead.

Which match-up was your favorite? Let us know in the comments below.